Tag Archives: Humor

Fifty Harry Potter Pickup Lines

17 Mar

I came across this hilarious list of Harry Potter-related pickup lines and I just had to share them with you. My favorite is #20: Well, I’m a Gryffindor, but something in my pants is definitely a-Slytherin. Which one is your favorite?!

  1. Hey, baby. Want to see my magic wand?
  2. Who cast a sexifying charm on you?
  3. You can tame my Hungarian Horntail any time.
  4. Care to go for a ride on my Firebolt?
  5. Is that a wand in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?
  6. Do you like Quidditch, ‘cuz I want to catch your golden snitch.
  7. No, I didn’t cast a growth charm on myself. I’m naturally that huge.
  8. I’m hung like a hippogriff.
  9. Me and Hagrid are a lot alike, except I’m only half-giant downstairs.
  10. I got 10 O.W.L.’s in Magical Sexology.
  11. Those pants look awfully uncomfortable. So does that shirt. If you like, I can transfigure those off for you.
  12. I like to do it skrewt-style. Do you?
  13. I’m the heir if Slytherin so let me into your Chamber of Secrets.
  14. I kick ass at Divination. Want to hear a prediction? I forsee you taking off your clothes.
  15. Do you mind if I apparate into your pants?
  16. Whoa! I didn’t know any vela lived around here.
  17. You are the portkey to my heart.
  18. I cast a summoning charm for the perfect woman, and here you are.
  19. Do you have a Harry Potter?
  20. Well, I’m a Gryffindor, but something in my pants is definitely a-Slytherin….
  21. Shall we play put the sorting hat on the slytherin?
  22. Want to see what else I’ve got shaped like a lightning bolt?
  23. Do you mind if I Apparate into your pants?
  24. Hey Draco…how long did you say your wand was again?
  25. Hey harry…can I ride on your broomstick?
  26. Let’s play Quidditch together…you’ll get to see my balls.
  27. It’s not the size of the wand that matters, its how you use it
  28. hey how’d you like to help me polish my wand
  29. I’ve got a snake waiting to meet you, no, it is not Nagini.
  30. Let’d play Quidditch. You grab my quaffles and I’ll find your snitch.
  31. Save a broom, ride a quiditch player
  32. It’s true, Quidditch players often have 4 feet of wood between their legs
  33. We may not be in Professor Flitwick’s class, but you still are charming.
  34. I don’t have an Invisibility Cloak but do you think tonight I can visit your restricted section?
  35. I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.
  36. My love for you burns like a dying Phoenix. You know, Hagrid’s not the only giant on campus.
  37. Do you think you could take on a mountain troll in the bathroom like Hermione did? Would you be ready in five minutes?
  38. Wanna make some magic together? My wand is at the ready.
  39. If you were a quaffle and I was a chaser during a quidditch match, I’d score with you.
  40. I must have had some Felix Felicis because I think I’m about to get lucky.
  41. Without you I feel like I’m in Azkaban and dementors are sucking away my soul.
  42. You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it’s because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.
  43. Want to go to the Hog’s Head, if you know what I mean?
  44. Being without you is like being under the Cruciatus Curse.
  45. Want to have a Tri-Wizards Tournament? Well not really “Tri-Wizard,” I was thinking more one wizard and two witches.
  46. I’ve been whomping my willow thinking about you. If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together.
  47. Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff.
  48. I’m not an Animagus but sometimes I can be real animal.
  49. How ‘bout you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?
  50. You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.  A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.