Tag Archives: Celebrities

Speechless, no joke.

9 Jun

Dear Dakota Fanning,

Your sense of fashion is a bit ummmm unfashionable. You look like you just rolled out of bed and put on a pair of Gwen Stefani’s sunglasses that she wore back in ’96. Like, what the fuck were you thinking when you threw this ensemble together this morning?

“Hmmm, I think I’ll wear a sheer white funky shaped t-shirt with a pair of shorts that I scored while I was on an episode of Wild & Crazy Kids back in ’92, with these medium brown super thick strapped platform shoe-things, with bubble gum pink lipstick and heinous sunglasses.”

I understand that you’re a celebrity and that a lot of celebs dress fucking weird (i.e. Lady Gaga) but like, this outfit is simply unacceptable in every way possible. Because seriously, who dresses this sloppy?! I really hope that you can get this issue sorted out because I really like you and I don’t want to like you less because of your lack of a fashion sense. And if it’s just because you’re legally blind or something I think I might be able to ignore this just this once. Deal? Great.

Sincerely,

Lauren B.