RIP Peaches Honey Blossom

3 Mar

I don’t even know how to start this any other way but to say that my beloved lilac point Siamese, Peaches Honey Blossom, is no longer with us. Never did I expect to be writing about something like this so soon, I though perhaps maybe in ten years or so I’d be sitting down at 35 years of age writing about the death of my cat, not the untimely death however.

What Happened

It was on Saturday the 27th around 5:00pm when I was gathering dirty laundry in the bedroom when I noticed Peaches laying in between two plastic storage bins inside the closet. I immediately pushing the laundry basket aside and saw that she was still breathing but her right hind leg was sticking out in an odd way so I picked it up and it fell so lifelessly to the floor.

Then I pulled the one storage bin out of the way and touched her with my hand saying, “Bunny come on honey what’s wrong? Mommy’s right here.” She barely responded to me but a few minutes later she stood up and kind of ran into the back wall of the closet and then laid back down in a different position.

Something was terribly off about her and I could feel it in my bones, so I called Ben into the bedroom and had him look at her, which he then said, “she’s probably just tired or afraid because I’m right here.” Ever since we moved home she’s been very afraid of Ben, but he has made leaps and bounds with getting her to eat out of his hands and spend time with him, but I firmly believe that she just didn’t handle the transition of the new home (which is nothing like our old home) so it caused a lot of internal stress and trauma.

Over the course of about 45 minutes she kept getting up and repositioning herself because she seemed to be appear very uncomfortable. She just appeared to be so weak but she was staying strong for me, which was so apparent, that when I pet her precious little face lifted it up and nuzzled me hand just like she always does. Only this time the nuzzle was so simple in comparison to the head-ramming nuzzles I normally get from her. I started to walk around the house getting really upset because I could just tell that she was acting this way because she was trying to hide herself so that she could go in peace, because that’s what cats do, and I instinctively knew that she was trying to hold on for me.

Then I called my mom crying telling her everything so she and my step-dad drove over to check her out and by 6:00pm we were on our way to do the shore to the closest emergency animal hospital. When I walked in I handed her over a young man and I told him to please take the very best care of her. At this point I was in hysterical tears and I knew that the night would not end on a pleasant note.

After an hours worth of waiting for blood test results and x-rays, the conclusion came back that there were several air pockets in her torso that were unidentifiable without surgically checking. The doctor, who was suck a nice woman (she was maybe only a few years old than myself), told me that her blood pressure was reading at around 40, which was abnormally low, and that it’s supposed to be over 100. She also said she couldn’t get a read on her temperature because of the low blood pressure but informed me that they had her on an IV at the moment to help with raising her blood pressure and overall condition (besides the air pockets).

When we spoke with the doctor (myself, Ben, and my mom) while looking at the x-rays, I asked for a moment alone with the doctor to discuss everything, and of course my mom stood there like she had the right to be, but I shooed her away, and could hear her whispering to Ben the entire time in the background. I told the doctor that I was trying to be realistic about all of this because I instinctively knew that my baby girl wasn’t going to make it. The doctor advised me of all the possible outcomes from surgery which only resulted in a 50-50 chance of survival given the mysterious nature of these air pockets. Then she told me it was smart to be realistic about it which just killed me.

I told the doctor that I’d like to spend some time with Peaches before I sent her off to kitty college. When I walked back into the examination room I told my mom and Ben about my decision and that they were bringing her in so we could say our goodbyes. Ben asked me if I was sure that this was what I wanted and clearly I didn’t want to let my little girl go but I knew what was right, I felt it so deeply inside of my heart, that I swear I felt it breaking. When they brought her in she had a little needle with pink tape around it in her paw, which was so difficult to see, and I had Ben and my mom say their goodbyes first so that I could have a moment alone with her.

I sat down on the chair next to her, held her and pet her precious little body, and told her of my plans for her, “Mommy loves you very much but she doesn’t want to see you suffering like this so mommy is sending you off to kitty Monaco, where you can lay on the kitty beach, and drive your very own kitty Aston Martin.” I was crying the entire time I was sitting there with her, watching her nuzzle my hand and my face, seeing her laying there so lifeless yet so strong and smiling at me with those beautiful blue eyes of hers.

“You mean everything to me, you are the very center of my universe and I love you so much,” I told her, “you saved mommy’s life and now it’s my turn to save yours.” I told her she would love kitty Monaco and that I would see her there soon. When the doctor came in and picked her up, I kissed her little nose about a thousand times, and told her I loved her before the doctor left the room with my baby girl wrapped in her arms.

I elected not to be present for the euthanization because there was no way I could handle watching her take her last breath like that. I chose to have her cremated and for them to take a little paw print which will be on some kind of certificate, both the kitty urn and the paw print will arrive here in about a week’s time, which I’m looking forward to. Just knowing she’ll be closer to me, still under the same roof, gives me a little bit of relief.

And This Is Where It Got Really Bad

Upon leaving the animal hospital I exited first, then Ben, and a few minutes later my mom. Then the three of us stopped at the nearest McDonald’s to grab a quick bite to eat. While inside the ladies room my mom told me, “Lauren this is the hardest thing I will ever have to tell you as your mother,” and I looked at her in confusion as she continued, “Peaches was kicked!”

So I asked what she meant to which she responded, “they believe she was abused, specifically kicked, because she wouldn’t just get sick like this so suddenly.” She was basically implying that Ben kicked her because he couldn’t handle the fact that she was so suddenly afraid of him. It never crossed her empty mind that Peaches just didn’t handle the transition all that well or that she was just traumatized by the change in climate. The bathroom conversation went like this:

“Lauren this is the hardest thing I will ever have to tell you as your mother…”

“What are you talking about?”

“Peaches was kicked!”

“They believe she was abused, specifically kicked, because she wouldn’t just get sick like this so suddenly.”

“Peaches was never abused before!”

“Yeah but why didn’t she like Ben all of a sudden?”

“Ben would never ever do something like that to Peaches! He loved her adoringly and has been going out of his way to show his affections towards her!”

“Lauren, some people have a hidden dark side to them.”

“You have no right to accuse Ben of something like this!”

“Well, let’s just see what they say when I call in an hour, because they are doing a special autopsy on her to find out.”

“I know they won’t find anything because that’s a bunch of shit!”

I was furious upon hearing these accusations and I knew there was something more to it, something I needed to find out as soon as possible. Before we left the bathroom she told me they were doing a special autopsy on her to find out the truth and that’s why the receptionist lady ran out to our car before we left to say, “call in one hour.” My mom lied to me when the lady walked away by quickly saying that she wanted more information on pet insurance. She also told me not to say anything to Ben before we found out.

Although I did, against her request, tell him about her accusations before we left the McDonald’s. He was immediately pissed off at her and assured me of his love for Peaches. He also told me that he could tell by her blatantly obvious interrogation about his history with pets that she was trying to point a finger at him.

When we parted ways with her after we arrived back to her house, which is where my step-dad drove my SUV, I called the animal hospital immediately to find out how all of this went down, because there is no way, no legal way, that they would suggest something like this to my mom, especially the receptionist. It turns out that my mom had in fact suggested that she thought Ben had abused Peaches and that was concerned about this.

Fortunately the doctor caught on to my mom’s scheme and did not perform the autopsy because she had found that I was not there to give consent. Hearing her tell me this made me feel a slight breath of relief because I didn’t want my baby girl all cut up like that. Cremation is one thing but chopping my precious Siamese bundle of joy to pieces was not an option.

My Interpretation Of This Crap

First of all my mom completely overstepped her boundary. In her twisted mind she believes because she is my mother that she has some kind of right, some entitlement to do whatever the fuck she pleases, including lying to my face and going behind my back. Legally the receptionist cannot make such an accusation like that which is how I knew my mom was full of shit before it was even confirmed to me.

When I’ve been telling people about what happened they are all asking, “why would she do something like that in the first place?” Like, what kind of motive does my mom have behind her evil scheme ya know? Well, I’ll tell you. Her entire life has been centered around negative people with a “hidden dark side” as she calls it–my real dad, my step-dad, her parents, her siblings, most of her friends–all of which end up using her and fuck her over somehow because she’s not in tune with how people really work. It’s not in her mental capacity to pick up on certain behaviors that would indicate that something is wrong. So she feels like everyone has some kind dark side to them and that Ben is definitely one of them.

Furthermore, I believe it to be a matter of jealousy because her life didn’t turn out the way she had hoped it would. Her prince charming turned out to be prince bullshit and she just can’t handle the fact that I’ve found someone who treats me as well as Ben does. She can’t handle the fact that Peaches sudden illness is left a mystery so she feels the need to point a finger, to blame someone who she feels entitled to blame. Ben has been nothing but nice to my mom, always showing her the utmost respect (even if she doesn’t deserve it) because it’s the right thing to do. He didn’t deserve this kind of crap.

During this entire situation, every chance she got she would show her true colors by whispering to him about the cost of the surgery, how it wasn’t worth it, how I need to be an adult about this, how I need to be realistic about it. I’m pretty sure that I was more than realistic about what happened and with making the decision that I did to send Peaches off to kitty college in kitty Monaco. My decision was not based on money, it was based on my love for Peaches and her health. And my mom had to, as she usually does, put her two unwanted cents in about everything. Of course she would act like she cared to my face and even fake-cried over it multiple times, which Ben saw right through.

What kind of mother does that to her own daughter?! What kind of mom sits there and pretends to show concern towards in my presence but then talks shit when I’m not there? Who fucking makes the first real loss a person has ever experienced a truly horrible thing? And this was, in fact, my very first loss I’ve ever experienced. I’ve lost family members and distant friends before, but I never shared a mutually emotional attachment to them like I did with Peaches.

And Here’s Where It Get’s Really REALLY Bad

Ben has been more than attentive to me during this difficult time. He’s been surprising me with flowers, always checking to see if I’m okay throughout the day, and going above and beyond his boyfriendly duty to make sure I’m doing well. He’s been encouraging me to look into finding a new lilac point Siamese and is willing to drive pretty much anywhere if it means finding one.

So I’ve been searching and searching and finally found a few kittens that are only an hour & a 1/2 away, which we’re going to look at tonight, and so I tell my mom about them and their steal-of-a-price and she responds back with this nasty email saying:

“I have to get in the shower and get ready for tonights broadcast.  I will tweet and do Face book.  I am not feeling well still….”

Because I do all the social media for her radio show and hadn’t done it yet for last night’s broadcast for obvious reasons. So I reply back telling her I was going to doing the Tweeting and Facebooking, to which she replies back:

Lauren, that’s OK, you really need to focus your time and attention on finding a job that pays money.  I will see if I can find someone who is truly interested in working on a Media Kit, as you’ve had plenty of time.

But she doesn’t have a lick of information for me to even make the damn thing, so I reply back to her and let her know. I also tell tell her that she is acting just like her mother and she knows damn well that she doesn’t like it. And guess what? She doesn’t talk to her because of it. Then she sends me this ridiculous email back saying:

Lauren,
Plans have changed for Thursday, I feel that it is not a good idea for you to go, it is very apparent that you no respect for me.  I would like for you to drop off my debit card and movies that you borrowed.  Also your car keys are here.  I am not going to reply to your letter, it was a complete disgrace.  I am now 100% sure that no one can help you,  you have to help yourself.  You are an adult now and when you make adult decision, you have to have adult consequences.

Gary and I have tried to help you, I’d like to have the money that we have gave you, not to mention an almost brand new SUV.  I am not a perfect person, nor Mom, however I would never to anything to hurt you, many times no one can talk to you.  I think we have now came to a cross road and you need to be on your own, I thought I was helping you, however you now need to help yourself.  You need to get a job, working is not a bad thing,  I’ve not seen one attempt.

I cannot allow you to think your conversations with me can be one sided and allow you to treat me and talk to me the way you do any longer.  You do owe me an apology, you need to really open up your eyes and do some serious thinking about what you are doing with you life.

I will pay for your car insurance this month and next to give you an opportunity to find a job and save some money.  I wish you all the best and ask you to take care of yourself…. please do not allow yourself to get in a trap, it happens to the best.  Open your eyes.

Ben needs to get back on his meds and seek therapy.  I did find this on the internet and find it to be very disturbing.  What did he do to you on the night of Feb. 1st.  Don’t allow it, they say there sorry and will never do it again….  trust me he will.. he has issue’s,

I feel he is has more than just social phobia, depression and add.   He has some real issue’s and trust me they are not good.  What does he have to offer you?  What has he done for you.  Sure your the best thing that has happened in his life.  He does not encourage you in any way…..  you have become isolated over there in that house in the woods…it’s not good..

Until you decide to apologize and treat me the right way there is nothing I can do for you.  You’ve never listen to me, and I know you won’t start now. but stop defending every guy you’ve been with, they all ended up hurting you, so stop allowing it… I pray for your safety and well being.  I do love you,  Mom xoxoxo

And then she finishes the email by saying:

This is scary:

And then she includes a copy & paste of one of the posts from mine and Ben’s Dear Lauren, Dear Ben blog, to which she basically assumes that Ben beat me or something!?

First of all, Ben would never hit me, and if he did, I’d leave him in a fucking instant. I’m too strong of a woman to put up with that kind of crap nor do I show signs of being a battered woman! Uhh, HELLO mom…just because you’re in a loveless, meaningless marriage doesn’t mean I’m miserable in my relationship. And it also doesn’t give you the right to try and bring me down based on your misery and assumptions. Learn the facts before you go ahead with something!

Secondly, Ben does encourage me and he is absolutely the best thing to ever happen to me! My mom just candle that I’m happy and that Ben is truthfully very good to me and for me. She hates her life. She may pride herself on her high school education, but that shows in everything she does. She is without a doubt the most self-righteous woman I have ever known. And maybe I shouldn’t be bitching about her flaws but I think I have the right to bitch a little. Plus, she has no right to be attacking someones flaws when she has many of her own.

She always does this kind of shit to me, which is the same exact shit her mom used to do to her, fortunately I’ m smarter than both of them so I know better, I know that I won’t ever turn out like that! And the only reasons it never works out with majority of the guys I’ve dated is because she always interferes, goes behind my back, and then lies to my face about it. So fuck her and her worthless bullshit!

I love how she says that I need to figure out what I’m doing with my life when I’ve done did that years ago! Am I not studying to become a relationship therapist?! And then says I need to get a job because working is not a bad thing! No fucking shit! The job market sucks! And I just love how she says I’m isolated over here in this house in the woods! Like, what the fuck!? She has no friends to begin with and I am absolutely NOT isolated here. This is where she makes assumptions instead of knowing the facts first. Personally, I like my privacy and I like being by myself. And I certainly wouldn’t consider myself isolated by any means. She’s just fucking miserable, the end.

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4 Responses to “RIP Peaches Honey Blossom”

  1. benarcher March 4, 2010 at 7:11 am #

    I found a typo:

    “And the only reason it never works out with majority of the guys I’ve dated is [they weren’t Ben.]”

  2. Bill March 6, 2010 at 6:20 pm #

    You are a real ass! Looks like your mom tried to help you and you cannot see it. Someday maybe you can grow up and see what parents can do for you. Sounds to me like your mom really is concerned for you. Take it from me….I learned the hard way. my parents tried to ttell me things and helped me alot and I was too stupid to realize it all. Having been on my own now I know how good it was with them. I miss it but was not smart enough to know when I had it good.

    Another thing, it is not really a good idea to tell your life story here as MANY jobs hiring do Google searches for their potential employees and if they was to see this , you would be fired before yo started! I speak from experience since I am a manager of a local establishment that you are seeking employment from! Wake up before it is too late.

    Bill

    • Lauren Dickson March 6, 2010 at 7:26 pm #

      You don’t even know what you’re talking about!!!!! You don’t know jack shit about the history of my relationship with my mother before this situation took place!

      AND if you were actually a manager of a local establishment that I applied to (which I have not applied to any local establishments) than you would NOT be calling me an ASS on a public website! Plus, your grammar and punctuation are completely off which discredits you furthermore!

      I’d suggest two things: 1. Go back to school and learn how to write properly and 2. Learn ALL factual information and full history of the situation before you dare to leave another comment on my blog!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Bedtime Rant: Commenting Failure « "Our pleasures in this world are always to be paid for." - March 6, 2010

    […] Rant: Commenting Failure 2010 March 6 by Lauren Dickson Some fucktard commented on my post about Peaches and said this: You are a real ass! Looks like your mom tried to help you and you cannot see it. […]

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