The Evening Rant.

15 Dec

In Recent News.

I’ve been so stressed busy lately that I completely forgot that yesterday was my anniversary with Ben. He sent me an e-card and I nearly broke down in tears because I felt so retarded that I forgot. I never forget these kinds of things. To make matters worse he may not be able to come out for Christmas, although it’s for a good reason, it still sucks nonetheless. It’s already been 18 days since I last saw him and it feels more like 18 months.

People always say that they hope to have what we do one day and to be quite honest — I hope that they do too. Fortunate is probably one of the best words to describe how I feel about having Ben in my life. Everyone, including myself, who has read The Twilight Saga always chooses Team Edward or Team Jacob, well I choose Team Ben; he’s my ‘Edward’. He’s fearlessly beautiful with his dirty blonde hair, almond-milk chocolate eyes, and magnificent smile that could light up even the darkest of places.

Being apart from him hurts me in ways that I’m too embarrassed to admit. Me? Too embarrassed? Believe it. During his absence, I sleep on his side of the bed to avoid feeling like he’s not there. In the early morning hours I find myself searching around for his warm body, to throw a leg over his torso and an arm across his firm chest, clenching tight to him as he serves as my own personal heater. When I come to discover that he’s not that, a sharp pang twists deep in the pit of my stomach, as a reminder of how painful it is to wake up without him.

The way he kisses me is undeniably filled with passion. The way his peach colored lips molded perfectly to mine, tell me that they are, without a doubt, made specifically for me. A romantically violent shock is sent right down my spine each and every time out lips meet. He doesn’t even have to tell me he loves me because I can feel it in his kiss. Ben, I love you too.

I really and truly hope that other people can find this kind of happiness, to feel what I do for Ben, to be fortunate.

Is it already the end of the year?

A few days ago Ben emailed a link to Time Magazine’s Top Ten of Everything in 2009 List. Composed 50 individual lists ranging from top ten breakups to Facebook stories to underreported stories — there’s something there for everyone. It’s definitely worth checking out on your lunch break or during a spare moment in the middle of the night. Amongst my favorites were the photos of year, Facebook stories, and gadgets.

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5 Responses to “The Evening Rant.”

  1. benarcher December 16, 2009 at 10:50 am #

    This left me speechless – I’ve never had anyone write like that about me. I’ve probably read it over 10 times by now. Thank you bunny, I love you 🙂

  2. Lauren Dickson December 16, 2009 at 11:24 am #

    Awww Bennylove! You are simply perfect! ❤

  3. Chelsea Talks Smack December 16, 2009 at 10:03 pm #

    Loved this blog it was so honest and i could certainly relate.

    • Lauren Dickson December 22, 2009 at 11:50 am #

      Thank you, thank you! Forgive my delay in responding!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. So your girlfriend is obsessed with Twilight? « Tendancy of Thought - December 16, 2009

    […] read passages (such as the aforementioned “Twilight Experience” – and especially one she wrote last night) – I’m deeply flattered, albeit slightly amused at times, since I truly understand what […]

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